Girls Unstoppable! You Can Help Boost a Girl’s Self Esteem

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Photo of my daughter from high school.

In elementary school I was convinced I could have it all when I “grew up and got old,” possibly around age sixteen. By the time I had reached Junior High I had begun to worry. My hair would not cooperate to create the latest styles. Was it too long? Why couldn’t I have wavy bangs like everyone else? As I reached high school, my self-esteem was in tatters. Was I pretty enough? Did I have the cool clothing everyone else did? Did I look fat? It wasn’t until I was in college that I began to feel comfortable in my own skin and only recently that I looked back and thought, “Why did I worry about all that? I was pretty. My body looked fine.”

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My daughter having fun with friends.

It turns out I am not alone. According to the Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, commissioned by the Dove Self Esteem Fund, seven of ten girls feel they do not measure up in some way, whether it be their looks, their school performance, or in relationships with friends and family members. The study also stated that 57% of all girls surveyed had a mother that criticized her own looks. I am certainly guilty of that! I have spent a lot of time over the years, demanding Bryan tell me, “Does this outfit make me look fat?” (Usually with his response being, “No,” without ever looking up from whatever he is doing.) I’ve finally begun to accept myself and my looks, but the process took years. I realized recently I had gone out without makeup and in a t-shirt and yoga pants, something I would never have done in the past. I’d rather my daughter not spend years in self doubt and continuous negative thoughts of her body.
Dove Self Esteem

Because parents’ words and actions play a pivotal role fostering positive self-esteem in girls, Dove and Walmart have created a great program to help mother’s and daughter’s connect, The Girls Unstoppable Event, which will be held at Walmart’s around the country this Saturday, October 5th. Click on the link to find a Walmart near you. This event will help encourage girls to embrace their uniqueness. There’s also a Dove Self Esteem discussion guide to help start a conversation with your daughter. I wish I had started a conversation with my daughter years ago, beginning when she was a pre-teen.

Did you have problems with self-esteem when you were in high school? How do you talk to your daughters about the topic?

51 Comments

  1. I always felt that way growing up too. I hope my daughter doesn’t feel badly about herself as she grows up!

  2. What a great program. This is such an important lessons for girls to learn.

  3. When I was younger I used to have self esteem issues. I thought I was too fat, or too ugly. As I got got older, I realized I was very disillusion. Now, I am getting to a great place.

  4. It really is unfortunate that so many young girls have such low self-esteem. This is a great initiative about an important issue that will really inspire and empower young women.

  5. great post! and i agree it is important to raise good self esteem in girls. i wish someone had done that for me. i still have crap self esteem 😛

  6. I’m in senior year of High school and it’s so rough!! Dove guys are great for doing this!! Everyone needs to be confident ! 🙂

  7. Oh, I wish I did not have so many events to go to Today. I would have loved to take my daughter. BTW: your daughter is lovely..

  8. Such a great inspiring post.. I had low self esteem, too.. I’m sure most girls have that and your post just helped a lot.. I soo will share this with a lot of my son’s “girl” friends.. I know they will appreciate it… Loved the pic of your daughter, she is soo pretty.. Thanks for sharing…and DOVE is the best.. Love their stuff and love what they do

  9. I’m in final year of high school and I can tell you how it feels . As a junior , it was real hard to cope up with what I truly am . It happens , to real girls . But in my final years , I got support of awesome people who did it in the best way , in fact I was rescued .
    I am happy Dove is doing it , I love using their products and it is worth going there.

  10. I didn’t have problems with my self esteem, but I was very shy! I opened up a lot once I went off to college. This event sounds great for motehrs and their daughters

  11. Sounds like a good event. I might take my girls and go check this out tomorrow.

  12. This is such a great post- so important to young women!

  13. I have always had an issue with self esteem and it gets worse with age. Having a program like this is amazing and I only wish it existed when I was younger.

  14. There were many times when my daughter was a teen that she had issues with her self esteem. I am glad to say, she was able to work out her issues and is very confident right now. I am always happy to see companies helping young girls out in this area.

  15. I never had that issue when I was younger by the way I a wrote post relating to #GirlsUnstoppable recently. I’m happy we have bloggers such as ourselves to spread the word about this movement.

  16. So many young girls (older too) struggle with self esteem issues. This looks like a great event to help with that!! Good for you for being a great role model for your daughter!

  17. I think most women have had some self-esteem issues when they were teens. I always thought I was overweight but when I look back at the pictures, I was actually pretty thin. I remember being pretty confident regarding my ability to go to college and be successful and I can credit some of my teachers for that.

    This event sounds like a necessary one and a good one. It would be interesting to read a follow up post of a few of the people that participate.

  18. I’ve noticed that’s true for a lot of women including me. When I was growing up I was told I was fat so I tried starving myself so I could become skinny. I remember my mom telling me that I wasn’t fat but I was pleasantly plump and that God made me that way. I was also a lot fairer than most of my Caribbean friends (my grandma is caucasian) and I got teased in school because of it. It wasn’t until I grew up that I also felt a lot more comfortable in my skin and I adore my caramel complexion. I teach my kids that they’re beautiful no matter what. 🙂

  19. I was as skinny as a stick when I was in school so needless to say I got called all kinds of names including bean pole. It probably took me until my middle 20’s before I could even look at myself and think I was pretty. Self esteem can really have an impact on girls in the long run, and it is so important to build them up not break them down.

  20. I would not go back to being a teenager for any amount of money! I surprised I survived the stress and I think this is a great program.

  21. Self esteem is a struggle for some and that looks like a great program to help kids!

  22. What an amazing program! I also used to have a lot more confidence when I was younger. In my abilities and how I looked. What happened to it? Somewhere along the road it was twiddled down by outside sources. I look at my kids and I try every day to buoy up their confidence because I’m scare they will lose it like I did.

  23. What a lovely event! So many women, including myself, struggle with self-esteem issues. We certainly need to break this cycle and empower our girls to know their self worth early on!

  24. Having experienced high school both as a student and as a teacher, it’s inarguable that teenage girls have unique challenges that boys don’t face. Young women need as much support and encouragement as they can get at that age, so this sounds like an excellent event. I think that communication is key with girls at this age. Instead of just writing confidence issues off as part of the high school experience, parents need to be in communication with their girls about what’s going on and how they are feeling.

  25. This is a great program! I did have self esteem issues in school, always worrying that I wasn’t as good as everyone else. Now that I am a Mom, I am always telling my oldest daughter who is now 12, that she is just as fabulous as everyone else! 🙂

  26. It’s tough being a girl! Especially now a days with so much pressure to look a certain way. What a great event! We will be sure to see if our Wal-Mart is participating!

  27. Such a great event! It’s important we empower young women.

  28. What a great event to support, thanks for sharing!

  29. Self esteem is so important for girls, not based on poularity or looks or wealth, but on seeing herself as a cherished child of God.

  30. What a great program. I’ll have to see if my Walmart is doing the tomorrow. Thanks for sharing!

  31. I used to be the same way! Now I go out without make up and dress comfy quite a bit 🙂 It is funny though, when I do wear make up, do my hair, dress nice, the people I know are like “Wow you look awesome” I am wondering how bad I look when I am comfy now LOL

  32. This is awesome! In today’s world, girls need all the help they can get when it comes to confidence.

  33. This is so neat to have for teens! So many need this encouragement.

  34. Some things never change! It wasn’t until my early 30’s that I really found my confidence. We all need to do everything we can to build up the girls and young women around us.

  35. Great post. I have 2 girls and since I struggle with self esteem, and I never want my girls to deal with that feeling.

  36. I definitely had some self-esteem issues in high school. Especially my sophomore year when I had to be on crutches for about 9 months straight because I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. I got lots of stares and whispers. Luckily I got to the point where I didn’t really care… they didn’t understand the internal struggle and pain I was going through.

  37. I’d love to start getting more involved with events like this. Since I’m home now, I have a little more time, and with a brand new daughter these issues are just that much more important to me. For my son, too!

  38. I love how Dove has taken a stand for our girls.

  39. i have 2 girls and this is a constant worry for me. we have a family day race at LEGO headquarters tomorrow all day or we’d be at the event ourselves. it sounds like a great event 🙂

  40. Thankfully I have all boys, so maybe it won’t be so bad when they get to be teenagers, but I had wicked self esteem issues when I was a teen. I have naturally curly hair and I was seriously the only girl in my grade with a mop that I couldn’t tame & I cried about being different almost every day.

  41. This is such a great topic. I always thought I was fine in school but others didn’t. I mean I was very overweight but it didn’t bother me, it only seemed to bother others for some unknown reason. Now when I look back at my school years I wish I hadn’t let those cruel words bother me. I’m so happy that companies are speaking out about this and getting parents and kids/teens involved in anti-bullying and building self esteem, it’s so important. I only wish this was available when I was a kid, it would have really made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Kudo’s to Walmart.

  42. This is a great system to support, its hard for girls to have self esteem these days

  43. it took me until i had to stick up for my own kids to gain self -confidence, to be honest. one of my biggest goals as a parent is to NOT let my kids lose their self -confidence.

  44. It’s so sad that we still deal with girls having such low self esteem in this day and age when people have known for so long how damaging it is to young girls!! I’m glad there’s still people trying to turn that around like you and Dove!

  45. Now that is a program about which I wholeheartedly support the messaging.

  46. I think this is great. I remember thinking I was so fat — at 135 lbs and 5’9″! I wish I knew then what I know now.

  47. Pam, I can completely relate. I was always self conscious but mostly because my own mom would pick on how I looked. Even when I was a high schooler, she would tell me my thighs were too big, and I was only 103 pounds. After that, I had like no confidence. I wish more mothers would boost their daughters!

  48. A great event to support. I did have the same problem, my self-esteem was very low back then. Glad, my daughter isn’t liked me.

  49. Growing up… I didn’t have a lot of self esteem myself. It took me a long time to feel good about myself. I think it’s great that Dove and Walmart is helping to boost these young girls confidence.

  50. Self esteem is so rough! I have struggled with it my whole life and know that it’s a super common issue. It’s very important for parents to teach kids to be comfortable with who they are and stop trying to be anything but themselves!

  51. This is SO awesome! I totally had low self esteem in high school.. and even through college. It took me SO long to come to terms with myself. This sounds like a fantastic event, thanks for sharing!